Who can find a woman of worth? for her

price is far above rubies.

The wise woman builds her house…

Building a Christian Home in a worldly environment is a challenge as most of the things presented to us for enjoyment are highly sensual. This makes building up a family that is Godly like building up a house of mud in torrential rain. In spite of “parental controls on internet and television, there is no amount of policing a parent can do to shield the children completely from the temptation and the attraction of the sensual world around them. However, the bible tells us in Ecclesiastes 1:9-10 and 2 Peter 1:3, that there is nothing new under the sun and that God has given us all that pertains to life and to godliness. This means that through the ages, God fearing parents have faced similar issues and have overcome them to bring up godly families because God has made provision.

What then can we do?

1) Our homes can only be successfully built if we follow God’s own pattern. We need to be completely dependant on God. “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not to your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths (Proverbs 3:5-6). Only God knows our husbands and our children so only He knows what we need to do to be effective in building a godly home. We need to put down our own ideas of how we should build and begin to trust God to show us.

2) Through wisdom a house is built, And by understanding it is established; By knowledge the rooms are filled With all precious and pleasant riches. (Proverbs 24:3-4) As we see, it is only by the help of the Holy Spirit and the wisdom of God that we can build a house. The bible says that if we lack wisdom, we need to do two things.

1) we need to have the fear of the LORD – Job 28:28 And to man He said, ‘Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom, And to depart from evil is understanding.

2). we need to ask God to give us wisdom – James 1:5 But if any man among you is without wisdom, let him make his request to God, who gives freely to all without an unkind word, and it will be given to him.

The modern world scoffs at gentleness or quietness and instead applauds a tough hard nosed approach to relationships and indeed all aspects of life. Our role models are the “beautiful” film stars and singers whose photographs are in practically every magazine and newspaper, telling us what we should be like. However, the bible clearly teaches that one should seek to develop a quiet and gentle spirit as opposed to an aggressive life but the word of God says But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This wisdom is not such as comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, devilish. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, without uncertainty or insincerity. And the harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. (James 3:14-18 RSV)

We are also told that outward beauty although nice to have, does not complete a person and just like a flower it soon fades:……..

Do not let your adornment be merely outward–arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel– rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 1 Peter 3:3-4

The writer of the proverbs stated, Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates. (Proverbs 31:30-31 RSV). The beauty of a flower keeps eyes on it but as we all know, that beauty soon fades. Some of the things that stop us from developing the kind of spirit God requires are:

Self-centerdness: Philippians 2:3-4 reads, Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. When our minds are focused on ourselves and we concentrate on “what makes ME happy” rather than looking out for the interests of others, then we become irritable, critical and unhappy.

Strife/anger : (Ephesians 4:26): Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger. Strained relationships at work, in our social circles or at home will cause us to feel unsettled, irritable and unable to full concentrate on anything until we make our peace and/or ask God to help us in. It is wisdom to get rid of anger as soon as possible.

Unconfessed Sin: This will always weigh us down. When we confess our sins we are lifted from it and find forgiveness and healing every time.He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. ……When I declared not my sin, my body wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night thy hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. Proverbs 28:13; Psalms 32:3-4

Unforgiveness : If we hold a grudge/unforgiveness in our hearts, we will not only be unsettled in our hearts but also have no peace as we will not be at peace with those around us, and definatley no peace with God. Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, lowliness, meekness, and patience, forbearing one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Colossians 3:12-13; Ephesians 4:32

A home is like a plant that needs to be nurtured so that it produces good fruit. It you do not put it in the right kind of soil or if you keep poisoning it the harmful chemicals (unforgiveness, anger, strife….), you will never harvest good fruit. At best they may be small and bitter.

Point to Ponder: What sort of fruit do you produce?????

To keep your marriage happy, when you

are wrong admit it, when you are right, keep